When Only Silence Will Do

What do you do when you lose someone so great that it leaves a hole in you so deep?

The tendency is to try to fill the hole with ‘fixes’ like words, thoughts, or activities.

But you’ve probably found that this doesn’t work too well. Or at least not beyond the moment.

What eases the pain of this hole best?

Being able to express yourself while another is silently present.

No trying to fix, no trying to fill.

But rather sitting together in expression of the emptiness.

No trying to figure anything out, no trying to change. No trying to make it better.

Just company….

… a friend alongside…

…with you in the pain.

—

Maybe because he doesn’t use words, this mallard models this ability exquisitely.

I thank him, and you, for caring enough to listen.

—

Find a person or an animal today, and tomorrow, who can hear your pain without giving in to the urge to try to fix it.

And if they do try to fix it, forgive them.

We all experience fix-it-urges. And sometimes fall prey to them because we so desperately want to help.

When you spot the fix-it-urge in yourself or another, remember the mallard who sits present and without words…

…looking at you, allowing for your tears, and your pain.